Counting Stars
by Albaquerki Noraz
Summary: Friends consider a possible fate, lament the past, and hope for the future.


Sept 3 2016

Counting Stars

The embers sputtered as the cold wind passed by. A collection of bodies ringed the fire, each shimmering softly with the breath of sleep. A half-elf garbed in orange, the professor from Iselia; her younger brother, with his eruption of silver locks bursting forth in all directions; the Chosen of Sylvarant, the blond girl who looked all too familiar; and finally the boy, the idealist garbed in red with a cactus of reddish brown hair; as always, his swords lay close to his red gloved hands. A sigh escaped Kratos' lips.

He fought off the urge to place a hand on the boy's head, the reassuring hand that had once felt so strong there when the boy was a child. He did so every night. Every night when he had to suffer the pain of being so close to the son he'd thought he'd lost fifteen years ago. The son that, if he knew who his father was, would turn away from him, disowning him as his father… and Kratos couldn't blame him. There was too much blood on his hands for forgiveness. Especially from someone as good and innocent as this boy. Kratos cast his gaze towards the sky and fell into his routine of counting stars. He'd been doing it for four thousand years, and somehow he never seemed to run out.

Kratos knew he was there before he'd even heard him. As silent as the other was, he could never be quiet enough to shield his movements from the super sensory aspect of the Cruxis angels. Kratos waited for him to silhouette himself in the light.

"He'll get himself killed if he keeps his attitude."

A blue haired half-elf appeared, half-way out of the shadows, the embers dancing on his face and tinging his hair so it looked slightly greenish. The figure retained his distance as Kratos stood and moved towards him. Together they moved away from the fire, over a dune of sand, exiting the earshot of the sleeping figures.

"Why are you here Yuan?" Kratos asked, as always quick, sharp and to the point.

Yuan stared at the man for a moment, his eyes deep pools of emotion that would reveal nothing to even the most perceptive, but Kratos knew Yuan better than anyone else and could read him perfectly. He knew what the half-elf was thinking and he snorted. Yuan frowned but he spoke his statement despite his friend's distaste.

"I am here to make sure you are alright."

Kratos turned away from his friends words, glancing back towards the camp. His eyes locked onto Lloyd's sleeping form.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Kratos asked. The question surprised himself, normally he would have just snorted.

Kratos sensed Yuan move right behind him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "You don't have to do this, you know… You can still save him."

"He won't let her go. He's already trailed us from Iselia. It was actually you abducting him that brought the group together."

Yuan nodded. "I'm sorry…" he muttered. And he really was. His hand slid from Kratos' shoulder.

Kratos only snorted, and for a moment the two stood together in silence, watching Lloyd's sleeping form.

"He looks like he'll be a fine young man. He's a lot like you," Yuan said.

"He has more of his mother in him," Kratos said. Again they slipped into silence. "How long have you been running the renegades, Yuan?"

This took the blue haired half-elf by surprise. He was sure that Yggdrasil didn't know, but he hadn't been sure about Kratos. Now that it was confirmed, there was no sense in trying to hiding it. So he admitted it. "It was slightly after you left. Your rebellion inspired me to see Martel's wish for what it truly was. The beautiful dream that is, the end of racism and discrimination. It's not Mithos' dream of the Age of Lifeless Beings, which turns everyone into little more than slaves, it is a world where everyone is free and choses to see each other as equals. In order to accomplish this dream…. I must oppose Mithos…. Like you once did," Yuan ended quietly.

"And see where it got me," Kratos mused, more to himself than to Yuan.

"Kratos—" Yuan started, but he was cut off as Kratos turned to him, latching onto his arm firmly. Yuan resisted the contact, his eyes flinched to lock with Kratos'.

"Do it now."

"What?" Yuan's eyes went wide. He was pretty sure he understood, but it was not possible. He needed Kratos to say it, to confirm his fears.

"In order to overthrow Mithos, you will need the Eternal Sword. There is only one way for you to be able to wield it."

Kratos took a few steps away from the camp, hiding his figure behind the dunes. Then, closing his eyes, both felt the mana swell as he revealed his wings. Yuan was used to the wings, but their glory always forced him to suppress a smile that appeared every time. He remembered when they were new, when the four of them flew free over the world. There was no such beauty in life now. Kratos' wings painted the world with a faint blue tinge. Yuan's own wings added a more purple tint. Interesting, he noted, how they both leaned more towards the opposite color. He didn't think about it further, as reaching out with magic, he summoned forth his butterfly blade.

The weapon was always heavy in his hand, but he handled it with ease. But now… now it seemed like a solid weight, useless for nothing more than crushing his resolve. He glanced at his friends eyes. Cold, calculating. And there was something else. Something that he had never seen in Kratos' eyes, not even during the Kharlan wars, when they had fought the war from opposing sides. That was more than a thousand lifetimes ago, but he still remembered it vividly. And he knew Kratos and Mithos did too. Martel's loss had destroyed them all, but even then, he had not seen this in Kratos' eyes. It was defeat.

Finally, after everything that they had all been through, Kratos was ready to give up; to just close his eyes and be done with life. Yuan had only seen him like this once before; after Anna's death. Yuan could understand that emptiness, he had experienced it after Martel was killed, but this was different than that. This destruction was not as complete, no as soul rending. Because this one held a spark of hope. Yuan glanced past his friend towards the sleeping boy.

Astonished, he spoke the statement that was a cornerstone in Kratos' mind. "You think he can defeat Mithos."

Kratos' face didn't change, but Yuan picked up an affirmation in a change in Kratos' stance, the dropping on his once folded arms to his side. Yuan noticed that Kratos tilted his head to the side in order to be able to take one last look at his son. The flicker of a smile appeared on his face. His glanced back at Yuan. "Do it."

Yuan raised his blade, hefting it high, and prepared to strike. He locked eyes with the man who meant so much to him. His fierce rival 4000 years ago, his friend, partner…. Brother. No one knew him better than Kratos. How could he possibly kill him?

Kratos was staring at him intently. And to his best friend he whispered, "For Martel."

Yuan's eyes went wide and his mouth flapped open. Everything that he had done, since that awful day she died, he did for Martel. Working with Mithos, betraying him, starting the Renegades; all of it have been for her. But now…. To give up Kratos? But he had to. If he ever wanted this to end, he needed to end Kratos' life to save the lives of thousands. He leaned his sword back, and whispered "Goodbye Kratos Aurion, my friend" a farewell they had agreed upon long ago in the war.

Kratos answered his call. "Goodbye Yuan Ka-Fai, my friend."

The blade streaked towards Kratos' chest as Yuan swung for Martel, swung for the world, at the chest of his best friend. His heart screamed, but he did not let his mouth do the same. The blade whizzed through the air. Both sets of eyes watched as the blade arched and landed heavily in the sand, sending flecks of debris flying everywhere. Yuan's eyes raced up to Kratos', surprise lived in both of their eyes and even regret in Kratos', there was no such regret in Yuan's eyes.

"Yuan," Kratos pressed.

"You said yourself that Lloyd can defeat Mithos," Yuan countered, folding his wings, allowing them to dissipate.

"He will need the eternal sword," Kratos insisted, fluttering his wings in return.

"He will need you," Yuan refuted.

Kratos stared at him, somewhat incomprehensively.

"Think about it," Yuan continued. "With his attitude, the Grand Cardinals will eat him alive. He is not strong enough to break the seals by himself, and even with his team, they will fail. In order for this to work, all of it, we need to work together. You need to continue on with your team, and see Lloyd through, at least until the Tower."

"Once there, Mithos will come and take Colette, and all will be lost."

"When you get there, my people and I will intervene. With Colette as a full angel, and in Tethe'alla, Yggdrassil will have bigger problems to deal with. His system will be broken."

"How will they get to Tethe'Alla?" Kratos questioned. His question proved his interest in Yuan's plan and Yuan felt himself release a breath that he hadn't realized he was holding.

"I will bring them to my base in Triet after getting them from the Tower. Then I will leave some Rheairds where the Assassin will be able to find them. She'll take them there."

"Sheena? How do you know that she will join them?" Kratos asked.

"The boy has a lot of Mithos in him, the child that he once was, not the monster that Yggdrasil is. She will join them as surely as Zelos will on the other side."

Kratos closed his eyes, and thought about it for a while. "What about the sword?"

Yuan sighed, his head falling to the ground. His grip on his hilt became iron. "When Lloyd is strong enough to defeat Mithos, when they know about both worlds and have pacts with every summon spirit… when there is no other choice, then, and only then, if need be, I will do it." Yuan glanced up and their eyes locked. The silent yet profound agreement passed heavily between them. Then Yuan smiled. "Can I see him?"

Kratos stiffened. "It is dangerous."

"I have no interest in harming him," Yuan said, pulling his blade from the sand, dissipating his weapon.

"I know," Kratos blinked.

Without further permission, Yuan moved towards the camp, entering the faint circle of the fire, he moved passed the other sleeping forms to stop before Lloyd Irving, the son of his best friend. Lloyd Aurion, it should be. Both had a certain ring to them. He heard a whimper, and spotted a green and white form bark once and move towards him, a pink tongue soon lapped at his fingers as Yuan patted the protozoan twice on the head.

"Noishe?" Yuan asked. "You have evolved into your Arshis form. How long ago?"

"It has been about a thousand years now," Kratos said.

Yuan nodded. "It has been too long."

Noishe followed Yuan for a few steps, but then fell into step with Kratos behind him, as Yuan moved towards the boy dressed in red, kneeling down in from of the boy. As he did this, Yuan unconsciously scanned the group for magic, encountering powerful doses in the sleeping forms of the Iselian professor and her brother.

"They are half-elves" he stated evenly, his voice as a whisper too low for normal ears to pick up, but Kratos heard him without issue. Yuan could tell from the lighting that Kratos wings were folded now.

"Yes. But Lloyd and Colette think they are full elves."

Yuan clenched a fist and grunted. "Even now, we have to hide. This isn't what she wanted…."

Kratos did his trademark "hmph" but there was a tinge of sadness to this one.

Then, lightly Yuan moved and put two fingers on Lloyd's brow. Closing his eyes he reached into Lloyd's being stretching out with his senses. "He has potential," Yuan admitted.

"He is my son" Kratos whispered. There was a mix of pride and something Yuan could only understand as fear, or perhaps despair. Either way, it was something that only rarely came out of Kratos.

"He'll do fine you know," Yuan admitted. "As long as you teach him to be strong enough to match his attitude, he will be able to succeed. He has hope."

"Something we lost a long time ago," Kratos whispered.

Yuan could not refute it, and didn't try. "He doesn't know?" It was asked as a question, but it was said as a statement.

Kratos shook his head. "He will never know."

Yuan rose to his feet and turned to face his friend. "I am sorry." And he was. Yuan understood better than almost anyone what Kratos was going through. He had also lost the love of his life, and he understood the severe pain of having no child. At the time, he had never really thought about it, but now, he did wish that he had had a child, some piece of Martel that he could keep with him. But Kratos still had it worse, to have a son, but to have to deny that connection, even while still being together. At least Kratos could watch his son and help him grow, teach and protect him, even in this small but precious time.

"They will wake soon. You should leave."

Yuan nodded. He retreated away from the fire ring and moved towards a dune. "Protect them Kratos. We will need them."

Kratos nodded but didn't answer. Yuan crested the closest dune and opened his wings; he looked up at the stars, the first rays of dawn coloring the sky with light blue and yellow. Yuan glanced at the orbs in the sky, his gaze naturally veering to where he knew Derris-Kharlan was hidden. The stars glittered in response. "How many?" turned to look down at Kratos.

The faint twinge of a smile graced Kratos' lips. For him, that was an all-out grin. The star counting was a habit that he had been in since they had traveled the world together, and one that they had often shared together. It was a reminder of the years when everything was good, wholesome and worthwhile.

"Ten thousand, four hundred, and twenty three before you showed up."

"Right," he said glancing back up at the sky. He returned his gaze back down to the group, his gaze landing and staying on Lloyd for longer than the others. Then he looked back at Kratos, and held his gaze for a moment. "Don't die, Kratos. He needs you."

"Hmph."

That was Yuan's farewell and he spread his wings, flapping as he leaped into the air, gaining altitude as he moved towards the Renegades base at Triet. Kratos watched his friend go, a blue star, which disappeared over the horizon just as Lloyd stirred, calling Kratos' attention away from his flying friend. And a new day dawned.

Kratos had just finished explaining to Lloyd that he would be moving to Derris-Kharlan, and why. Lloyd had not taken it well initially, but in the end, he respected Kratos' decision. "I can't express everything that you've done for us. And I am grateful for all of it. We couldn't have done it without you. And… if you have to go… then… I guess I'll respect that. But… Kratos…. I want you to know…I will miss you…. Dad," he said.

Kratos' eyes bulged at the utterance of the final word. He couldn't resist the compulsion this time and he reached out, and placed a hand on Lloyd head. The hand that had reassured Lloyd as a boy, still fit perfectly there. "I am so proud of you, my son."

Upon hearing these words, Lloyd's frame collapsed into Kratos', a little boy, for the first time in forever, embracing his daddy. Kratos gripped his son's shoulders in a firm, perfect embrace. It lasted a moment but fueled an eternity, and when they pulled apart, both were grinning. Kratos' eyes shimmered with unshed tears, but they would remain unshed. Then he took two steps away, and unfurling his wings, he flapped twice. "I love you, Lloyd" he said as he flapped higher. "Always."

The last word was too quiet for Lloyd, to hear, but it was not lost on Yuan. He had been watching the moment and couldn't wipe the grin off his face. His best friend was a fine father, and even though they were leaving now, he couldn't help but appreciate the perfection of that moment. The Sylvaranti chosen came forward from where she'd been standing a few feet away and threw her arms around Lloyd, who embraced her fiercely, a stream of tears already flowing from his eyes. Together they sunk to the ground. Yuan didn't stay to watch them, but instead unfurled his wings and moved to follow Kratos to their prearranged place.

Kratos arrived first and watched as Yuan alighted near him. "You saw?"

Yuan grinned, not even going to bother denying his presence. "I did. You make a fine father. He will be loath to lose you."

"This is for the best. It is a new world now. Our time is over."

"Yes. We've lived too long."

"Yuan" Kratos started, and Yuan knew what was coming.

"Origin?" he asked.

"Why?" Kratos pressed.

"He needed you," Yuan said simply.

"And?" Kratos pressed. Yuan sighed, knowing that his would only end with Kratos getting a satisfactory answer.

"You were the last one left Kratos."

The red haired man didn't answer that, but instead his hand went to the locket that Yuan knew contained the picture of Kratos, Anna and Lloyd when they were a young family. A faint smile appeared on his face, and that smile, Yuan knew, was a gesture of thanks. And Yuan took it as all the thanks he would ever get, all the thanks that he could ever need.

"I forgive you Yuan. And I am grateful."

Yuan's eyes expanded and he took an involuntary step towards his friend. Kratos glance forced him to keep himself in check, but there was something else there too. A desperate pleading. A need to know, that even if no one else ever did, ever could, that the one person who knew him better than anyone one, the only other person left that had been there from the beginning, that had seen everything, forgave him. And Yuan offered him relief.

"And I forgive you Kratos." There was a pause before Yuan continued. "Thank you for not betraying us to Mithos."

Kratos countered with "Thank you for protecting my son."

Yuan nodded and they both lapsed into silence; a long comfortable silence that, in many ways, was the glue of their friendship. They stayed like this for a momentary eternity before Yuan moved to Kratos and motioned for his hand. Kratos obliged him and Yuan placed a small metallic disk into his hand.

"What is it?" Kratos asked.

"It is a transceiver. It is actually from the days of the Kharlan wars, it was mine as a general. I've kept them. They allow two parties to both transfer and receive messages within a range of three hundred miles. I had no real use for them before now. I am giving it to you so we can stay in contact and keep each other informed. You can tell me about how your travels are and about the state of the angels, and I will tell you about Lloyd and what happens here."

Kratos nodded, and pocketed the device. "Thank you Yuan." Yuan nodded. "Will you be alright as the guardian of the tree? With the new spirit being Martel?"

Yuan sighed. "She is not my Martel."

"No," Kratos sighed. "She's not."

"Cosmic rule," Yuan reminded him, "One each."

Kratos' grip on the locket clenched tighter. He looked at Yuan, eyes pleading. "Take care of him, Yuan."

"I will," Yuan promised. And again they lapsed into silence.

After another long moment, Kratos spoke. "It is time."

Kratos moved to the transporter pad, but hadn't yet stepped on, he turned back towards Yuan and unfurled his wings, his last act as a free Seraphim. Yuan matched his action.

"Farewell Yuan Ka-Fai, my brother."

Yuan's eyes reflected his shock but Kratos merely smiled at him. A real, soft smile. Yuan chuckled once, and nodded.

"Farewell Kratos Aurion, my brother."

Then, stepping backwards on to the pad, Kratos activated the transporter, and in a flash of light, he was gone. And Yuan was alone. He fingered the transceiver in his hand. He would wait for Kratos to make the first call. Instead, he fingered his ring from Martel lightly, as he flapped twice, floating into the sky. He had a duty to preform, and he returned to the new tree, Yggdrasil, to carry it out, the stars winking lightly above him. He glanced at them and smiled, and as he flew, he started counting.


End file.
